it's that smell of desperation all around me in the air, it comes from quiet inspiration, self destruction, and despair.

go go distorted penguins.

go go go me. first driving lesson today! with "abraham" if that's even his real name. i hope i get a guy like stephanie's. who talks about how he used to do all this pot, and makes fun of the fat lady they see walk like 10 miles every day and wonder why she's still fat.

i was asking sean why he didn't want to come over to my house when tim was over for the bbq. i was like, "you missed free food and beer" and then all of a sudden jocelyn goes, "you heard her, she said beer" and i'm like, "yeah...uhm...so?" and sean is like, "i didn't hear her." and then i ask what the big deal is with beer and they won't tell me.

i ask joceyln at the diner later and apparently strangers make sean nervous. he's all worried that since he doesn't drink all the kids at college will hate him and blah, you know how it is. i was like, find some straight edge punk kids and chill with them. he's like, i never thought of punks as not drinking or anything. so i just give him the "straight edge scene was started by punks" line and he shuts up. either way i was pissed they didn't come over. and sean sucks cock. i dissed him for being a rich white male all night and that was fun enough for me.

i'm gonna go play empire earth now. or gouge out my eyes. ps. my friends are not intimidating! goddamit.

before and after