"your dick is not a tampon"

by: two um dumpsters, laena and jess

santa, i would like a vibrator.

santa, it's not my fault my boyfriend's substandard irish prick can't get me off.

santa, maybe guys should just know how to use the damn thing instead of just inserting it like a tampon.

santa, maybe guys should realise that it takes MORE than just putting it in der to get me off.

yes!

otherwise i'd get off putting in tampons.

(which would be great)

mom: jess, your period, again? haven't we bought enought tampons?

santa, i'm tired of looking for phallic things.....

to stick in my twat because no guy can do it for me.

for godsake your penis is not a tampon!

!!

sure, it's absorbent.

and made of cotton.

and ties with a string

WHEN I FUCK YOU IT REMINDS ME OF PUTTING IN A TAMPON

TAMPONS ARE BLOOD RAGS NOT SEXUAL APPENDAGES!

i'd rather FUCK MYSELF

COS I'M THE BEST

me and my finger can top your headless penis any day!

you say you THINK WITH YER DICK

but obviously you don't know WHAT TO DO

you go in and out and in and out and then yer spent

your dick must be mentally retarded!

in and out like a tampon! tampons suck!

before and after